Cognitive Psychology, Wanted, and Worthless People?
Evening.
I always hate starting these introductory type things, I am no good at it. I don't know what to say, and you generally need something to say when you write a blog.
At least from my perspective, I know there are a lot of pointless blogs out there.
I just finished watching Wanted, great movie. I loved it, it's definitely a newly found favorite. And then along with the title, I got another book on psychology - Fundamentals of Cognitive Psychology.
So far so good, haven't had enough time to read it and make a sufficient synopsis of its quality.
I hate to sound so optomistic, but don't you just love it when you find out people you thought you could depend on, you couldn't? It's a lovely feeling of adrenaline pumping from your sympathetic system sending neurons to your brain, knowing that people you loved have left you.
It's nothing I haven't felt before, and nothing I'll ever stop feeling, I just thought maybe there was a nice break somewhere in life, where people where happy? Apparently not for some. Unfortunately, we don't define what class we fit into, we can't tell ourselves to leave and hop over to the class of euphoria.
But if we could, what would life be?
I have so many questions I need answered right now, theological, historical, friendships, loves, but I don't think they will ever be answered. And that scares me.
I have so many questions I need answered right now, theological, historical, friendships, loves, but I don't think they will ever be answered. And that scares me.
I'm afraid that I am going to focus so much on it, that I am not going to be able to make it.
I am a realist, I like facts, reasons, answers, and when I don't get them, I am in a very confused mental position. Why's, how's, when's, they all run through my mind.
I am a realist, I like facts, reasons, answers, and when I don't get them, I am in a very confused mental position. Why's, how's, when's, they all run through my mind.
But what about things that can be answered? Where do I classify those things? Where can I define them? I can't. And it's disturbing to me. I can wrap my head around everything at once, but I can't answer it all at once.
It's hurtful you know, when people you love dearly and closely leave you. The moment you know they're gone, forever, and you're not ready - it's humbling. It's reducing, it brings me down to my lowest point, something I never let anyone see. It's terrifying, I am so afraid of losing a loved one, I'm scared of keeping them loved.
I have had social problems since I was old enough to talk. An image that I was a terrible person, regardless of facts, or evidence, it really makes me wonder if it's true. Do people need a reason to define someone else as wrong? Evil? I am not even sure if what's real matters any more.
I know people my age get confused easily. Something I constantly talk about is the development of the prefrontal cortex, teenagers don't have the neurological advances as adults, and they can't handle emotions properly. Which is one thing that reminds me, that it's out of my hands.
But at the same time, I know it should be.
Why can't people just love me? What do I do so wrong that makes the closest people to me, leave me?
These questions will go unanswered for the rest of my life, and that may be pretty short.
Azariah.
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